Archive for OK for Kids

Escape Pod 22: Don Ysidro

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains death rituals with possible disturbing imagery, and numerous pot references. (No, not that kind.)

Referenced sites:
Short-Short Stories
Podiobooks


Don Ysidro

By Bruce Holland Rogers

On that last morning, anyone who came to visit me could see that I was dying. I knew it myself. As if I had cotton in my ears, I heard the voice of don Leandro saying to my wife, “Dona Susana, I think it is time to fetch the priest,” and I thought, yes, it’s time.

We don’t have our own priest, or even our own church, so someone has to drive in a pickup truck to get the priest from El Puentecito. But don’t be fooled by what you may hear in Malpasa or in Palpan de Baranda. Here we remain Catholic. Yes, we make pots in the old way. That’s why tourists come here. And it’s true, as is sometimes whispered, that we have restored certain other practices from the past. But not as they were done back then. Those were bloody and terrible times, the times of the Mejica. They say that the sacrificial blood covered the sun pyramids from top to bottom. Thank the Virgin, we don’t do anything like that.

EP Flash: Troy Trooper


Troy Trooper

By Alex Holden

“Piece of crap!” The boy kicked the toy soldier hard and it flew across the room.

“Ow,” said Troy, as he warily checked himself for damage, “what was that for?”

Escape Pod 19: Implications

Show Notes

Rated G. Suitable for macrolevel quantum explicate children of all ages.

Referenced podcasts:
Skepticality
Hooting Yard
Epistaxis Time


Implications

By James C. Bassett

“Yes, obviously. But its judgement is rather lacking, wouldn’t you say? Trying to translocate itself to the Ancestors’ Earth on a whim? For that matter, Instructor, I might also question your own judgement. Imagine, teaching macrolevel effects as an introduction to subquantum nonlocality!”

Arcaprun jumped up and ran to its Instructor’s defence. “Aw, Prundis, you know it wasn’t Grap’s fault. It was just a little accident.”

“_Just_ an accident?” Prundis countered drily. “You neglected to factor in lightspeed lag when making observations to determine coordinates and lost yourself halfway across the universe! It took me three weeks to locate you! I was worried sick, Arc.”

EP Flash: The God of the Goblins


The God of the Goblins

By Eric Marin

The campaign had begun well. The Alarians swept south into goblin territory, and Alarian rifles quickly overmatched goblin bows and crossbows.

In just a few weeks of fighting, the goblin population was halved. The goblin chieftains realized that they were doomed without help and did the only thing they could.

They asked their god, Twenty Claw, for help.

Escape Pod 18: Some Girlfriends Can

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains explicit cattiness and violent self-reflection.


Some Girlfriends Can

By Stephanie Burgis

“Too bad it’s raining. Hey, Lauren, make the rain stop, okay?” He reaches across the table and tousles my hair affectionately.

I bare my teeth in the semblance of a grin. “Ha ha. Sorry, I can’t.”

“I know.” He shakes his head, laughs ruefully. “It’s just . . . Maya could.”

Escape Pod 17: The Life and Times of Penguin

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains explicit existentialism and violence of the soul. (The intro contains minor profanity and frank discussions of current events, and is likely to be more offensive than the story.)


The Life and Times of Penguin

By Eugie Foster

Penguin listened raptly to the new voice. He knew this was his guardian angel, she who would guard and protect him forever. Sure enough, the Creator set him gently into his angel’s hand. Her hands, much smaller than the Creator’s–which was fitting since who among the angels had such power as the Creator?–were a bit sticky. He squealed as she held him aloft to
receive the glorious light.

“Look, Daddy! It’s a peng’n!”

“Yes it is, Angie. It’s a very nice penguin. Did you thank the nice man for the balloon?”

Escape Pod 16: Seamstress

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains sexual situations and, unrelated, the loss of innocence.


Seamstress

By Sarah Prineas

So, the Godmother. She takes ragged, smudged things and turns them into beautiful Princesses. Why, I don’t know. A hobby? A calling? An obsession? Is she righting the wrongs done to her when she was young?

When I first started here, I had a fantasy. That the Godmother would pluck me out of the row of humpbacked, squinting Seamstresses and make me, too, a beautiful Princess. With a gown sewn by…well, by the poor wenches too old or ugly to catch the Godmother’s eye.

Escape Pod 15: Hell Notes

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains graphic food-based sensuality and soulless marketing.


Hell Notes

By M.K. Hobson

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so I suppose it’s no wonder that the twice-cooked pork the beautiful chef placed in that depressing buffet line kicked me in the mouth like a South American soccer superstar with bad aim. There was never twice-cooked pork like the twice-cooked pork I tasted that snowy day at the Cheerful Panda.

Escape Pod 13: The Once and Future Dentist

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains violence, alcohol, and gratuitous time travel.


The Once and Future Dentist

By D. Richard Pearce

“‘He was the most skillful gambler, and the nerviest, fastest, deadliest man with a six-gun I ever saw.’ Do you know who said that, Doctor?”

He coughed politely and sat in a nearby chair. “Begging your pardon, ma’am, I’d be more interested in who they were talking about.”

She laughed softly, and seemed to turn her attention to him fully for the first time. “Wyatt Earp said those words about you, Doctor. At your funeral, I suspect, though I don’t know for sure.”

Escape Pod 12: Clean Up Your Room!

Show Notes

Rated G. Contains intense maternal nagging and disturbing chorework. May not be suitable for some adults.


Clean Up Your Room!

By Laura Anne Gilman

“Jessy, put that away and come eat breakfast. You won’t get anything useful done on an empty stomach.” The voice was the usual gender-neutral computer-generated drone, and yet it sounded different to her this morning. Obviously, the tone modifiers Gregory had suggested were working, too. That was going to be a selling point for everyone yelping about the dehumanization of home life. In a few generations, they’d be able to personalize the voice, maybe even to customer order.

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