Archive for OK for Kids

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Escape Pod 42: Practical Villainy

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 27:05 — 18.6MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Fictional animals were harmed in the making of this podcast. Also knights, damsels, dragons, and medieval economies.

Referenced sites:
Dragon Page Wingin’ It

Musical guest: Jonathan Coulton.

Practical Villainy

By Janni Lee Simner

The first thing I want you to know is that I drowned those kittens for a reason. Villains rarely do anything without purpose, and I’m no exception, to that or any other rule. Irrational, passionate acts are for heroes, with their bright armor and their grand ideas, their conviction that with enough heart they can right any wrong, unravel any curse. My dragons were once well-fed on their kind, and their skulls still decorate the spikes above my gates.

EP Flash: Fools Seldom Differ

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:24 — 2.4MB)

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Show Notes

Rated G. Kids, don’t try this at home.

Fools Seldom Differ

By Jeff Noyle

The thing about the Ice is, you can get really, really, really bored. I spent a whole week here yesterday. So, you know that giant slanting floe with the scoop-up at the end that I sent a picture of? Carls and I said “oh cool, that would make a great ski-jump.” Only I was dumb enough actually to try it. About two minutes ago.

EP Flash: One Million Years B.F.E.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:52 — 8.2MB)

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Show Notes

Rated G. Contains ignoble savagery and predomestic strife.

One Million Years B.F.E.

By Merrie Haskell

Am determined to become strong, lithe, deadly, noble cave-woman type figure, √° la Ayla of Clan of the Cave Bear. I will fashion stone tools, hunt and gather food and live pristine, pure life of Homo Erectus-type person–at one with nature. Ah. Air is so fresh. Quite lovely.

Escape Pod 40: Even Vadsø Thaws

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 20:05 — 13.8MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains themes of ecoterrorism and global disaster. If you can explain that to your kids, it’s family-safe.

Referenced sites:
Short-Short Stories by Bruce Holland Rogers
SciFi Dimensions

Musical guest: Red Hunter.

Even Vadsø Thaws

By Bruce Holland Rogers

The only person who might understand is Sponheim, the Corrections Sociologist. He just arrived. It’s his job to understand me thoroughly and to write a report that his successors will use to decide if it’s safe to revive me. His report will help them decide if I am no longer a threat to society because society has changed enough to deal with me, or has learned to treat behaviors like mine.

“I am already remorseful!” I tell him at our first interview. “I won’t do it again!” We are sitting at a table by the water. A light mist falls. “I shouldn’t have done it, shouldn’t even have thought about it. Once, I was one of the people fighting to preserve the last wild polar bears! I wanted to protect the earth!” I get myself worked up. I am close to tears.

EP Flash: The Team-Mate Reference Problem in Final-Stage Demon Confrontation

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:22 — 5.8MB)

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Show Notes

Rated G. Important safety tip. (Thanks, Egon.)

The Team-Mate Reference Problem in Final-Stage Demon Confrontation

By Constance Cooper

Colleagues, ours is a uniquely demanding profession. In no other job do you endanger your coworker’s soul if you call out to him in the course of your duties. But since a demon has power over you once it knows your name, well-meant warnings such as “Buck! Behind you!” can have tragic consequences.

Escape Pod 38: L’Alchimista

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 39:37 — 27.2MB)

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Show Notes

Rated G. Warning: Food descriptions may be intoxicating. Do not listen before grocery shopping.

Referenced sites:
Resonance FM
The Exciting Hellebore Shew

L’Alchimista

By N. K. Jemisin

She did not particularly care whether he paid; it wasn’t her inn. But at his words she lifted an eyebrow. “What sort of challenge?”

“A very special one.” He slipped a hand into his coat like an old-fashioned pistolero, but before Franca could worry he pulled out a bulging sack made of what looked like deerhide. He set this on the table — carefully, Franca noted.

“You are willing to follow a recipe? So many chefs of your caliber think themselves above the direction of others.”

She lifted her chin. “I was head chef for Parliament once — before that bastard Berlusconi, anyhow. While I was there I had to make Florentine dishes like a Florentine and Venetian dishes like a Venetian and the Madonna help me if I did them wrong. If the recipe is sound, I can follow it.”

EP Flash: Hibernation

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:59 — 4.8MB)

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Show Notes

Rated G. Contains non-graphic ursine violence.

Hibernation

By Madge E. Miller

Two Alaskan Kodiak bears joined a small circus where the pair appeared nightly in a parade, pulling a covered wagon. The fact that they had joined the circus was not so strange; the circus life was very popular even for the better class of bear. The strange thing was that they were both primitive mutes. This alone elevated or, in the opinion of some bears still angry about the Great Russian Dancing Bear Revolt of ’06, lowered them to the level of freak show attraction.

Escape Pod 37: Craphound

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 46:00 — 31.6MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains some profanity. That’s it, really.

Referenced sites:
Mostly News
Escape Pod Submission Guidelines

Craphound

By Cory Doctorow

Craphound beat me out the door, as usual. His exoskeleton is programmable, so he can record little scripts for it like: move left arm to door handle, pop it, swing legs out to running-board, jump to ground, close door, move forward. Meanwhile, I’m still making sure I’ve switched off the headlights and that I’ve got my wallet.

Escape Pod 36: Connie, Maybe

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 21:00 — 14.4MB)

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Show Notes

Rated G. Contains alien abduction, brainwashing, and conspiracy. Unless it doesn’t.

Referenced sites:
Snakes on a Plane
Something From the Nightside by Simon Green

Connie, Maybe

by Paul E. Martens

Conrad McManus claimed he was kidnaped by aliens and replaced by an exact duplicate of himself.

But, Connie, we said, that doesn’t make sense. If you were a duplicate you wouldn’t say a thing like that.

Connie shook his head. “The aliens destroyed my body while they were doing their tests and experiments and what not and they had to make a new one so no one would know about them.”

So they destroyed everything, we asked, except your brain?

“No,” he said. “They destroyed my brain, too.”

Escape Pod 34: Free Will, Baby

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:00 — 25.4MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains supernatural violence, sexual harassment, and telemarketers from Hell. (Not a redundancy.)

Referenced sites:
PodcasterCon
Escape Pod CD Offer

Free Will, Baby

By Janni Lee Simner

“Hello, this is Kara Donnelly, with Lucifer Enterprises. Whom am I–”

“Yeah,” the man said, as if he’d been expecting her. “My wife just left me. When she takes me to court next month, I want everything she’s got.”

“Well, I’m certain we can arrange that.” Kara smiled. She’d heard somewhere that if you smiled, your voice sounded more pleasant over the phone. “If I could just get some information, I’ll have one of our representatives call back to arrange a meeting.”

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