Archive for OK for Kids

Genres:

Escape Pod 31: Robots and Falling Hearts

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains slight profanity, long flirtations, and excessive Zen. Watch for falling metaphors.

Referenced sites:
Child’s Play
Hooting Yard


Robots and Falling Hearts

By Tim Pratt and Greg van Eekhout

I paused to tie a loose shoelace and a squat robot, like a dirty white trashcan on tank-treads, trundled out of an alley toward me. A red light on top of its domelike top blinked erratically. It said, in a high-pitched voice, “Klaatu barada nikto.” A small panel slid open in its front, and a pole with a cup on the end telescoped out. There were a few coins in the cup, mostly pennies and nickels, and the robot jingled the cup significantly.

“Take me to your leader,” I said, wishing it could be that simple, knowing that these things are never that simple. The robot beeped at me and jingled its cup harder, the coins rattling.

“It won’t go away unless you give it some change,” said a woman standing on the corner. “It followed me all the way to work one day, and hung around outside the door like a dog for hours.”

Genres:

Escape Pod 30: Aliens Love Oranges

Show Notes

Rated G. Contains mild provinicialism, non-explicit discussion of sexual preferene, and screwdrivers. (The kind with vodka.)

Referenced sites:
Spaceship Radio Script Factory
Rev Up Review
2B Pictures Filmmaking Podcast


Aliens Love Oranges

By Sue Burke

“They do talk wrong,” she whispered. “They say ‘aboot’ instead of ‘about’ and ‘proh-gress’ instead of ‘prah-gress.’ It’s like they can’t almost speak English right.”

“That’s how you tell,” Lois said. “Aliens can’t figure out how to say the letter O. Have y’all ever heard a body talk like that?”

Escape Pod 29: Crystal Balls

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains violence, immoral psychic paraphernalia, and grown women scrying.

Referenced sites:
Rent
The Sci Phi Show
Dead White Guys


Crystal Balls

By Susie Hawes

Yeah, that’s it. Oh, that’s nice. You’ve got strong hands, Mister. Are you psychic? Maybe just a little? No? Well, I can fix that.

Naw, I can’t tell you where to find a bottle of Mad Dog, but I can get you the money to buy one.

EP Poem: Making Monsters

Show Notes

Rated PG. May provoke disturbing thoughts.


Making Monsters

A Poem by Tim Pratt

He is the reason clowns so often seem
sinister, the reason mannequins and dolls
can be so unsettling, the reason a child’s
tricycle
sitting unattended in a front yard can be an image
suffused with dread. If he goes on
this way, who knows what other objects
will attain an aura of menace?

Escape Pod 27: Union Dues: Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains graphic scenes of class conflict and superhuman self-doubt.

Referenced sites:
HorrorView
Beyond the Storm: Shadows of the Big Easy
SFFAudio


Union Dues: Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw

By Jeffrey R. DeRego

“You super folks must think we’re pretty damn foolish, especially us in the law enforcement community.”

Look at him leaning back with his feet up on the desk. Did he just walk out of Cool Hand Luke? Sheesh, you’d think a sheriff would want to be more dignified. “No sir. You and your brethren are integral to the fabric of society. We of The Union are grateful for your hard work and courage.” I can rattle that sort of crap off all day long.

EP Interview: Greg van Eekhout


Interviewed by Scott Janssens.

Greg van Eekhout, one of Escape Pod’s most frequent authors, speaks to us about the virtues of very short fiction, babies in blenders, and an explosive new term for flash fiction.

Greg’s site:
writingandsnacks.blogspot.com

EP Flash: Mount Dragon

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains some profanity. Paradigms may shift without warning.


Mount Dragon

By Vera Nazarian

“Go to hell, idiot,” I said, using an astringent tongue he’d understand. “I am but a monumental slab of granite, and you, mortality, are like one of the droppings of a fairly large corpulent deity–an ephemeral honor I would rather pass me by.”

“And yet, you speak to me, mountain,” said the mote of humanity. “Why is that?”

I considered that for a moment. The creature had a point.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.

Escape Pod 25: The Great Old Pumpkin

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains dark imagery and terrifying fruit.

Referenced sites:
Eyes of Ligeia
Amphigory
K9Cast

Music by Toby Chappell.


The Great Old Pumpkin

By John Aegard

As you are no doubt aware, I am the issue of solid Dutch stock‚ Äîthe prosperous Van Pelt family of St. Paul. Mine was a comfortable and happy childhood, and I spent much of it in the devoted service of the Great Old Pumpkin. For him, I cultivated an annual pumpkin patch. I also evangelized him in the community, relating the tale of how, every year on Hallowmas Eve, the day when the spiritual most strongly encroaches on the substantial, this mightiest of gourds would rise to revel across the world with the most sincere of his adorers. My neighbors were understandably skeptical; after all, not once had this superbeing ever chosen to grace my pumpkin patch or any other place in our town. I vowed that I would coax him into my backyard, and I set out in the manner of a learned man to discover how I might do this.

Escape Pod 24: The Death Trap of Dr. Nefario

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains childhood trauma and mild gratuitous villainy.

Referenced sites:
Dead White Guys
The Sci Phi Show


The Death Trap of Dr. Nefario

By Benjamin Rosenbaum

“Well, you know, Doc, safe is a relative thing in my profession, but I have you on the headset, and I’m picking the lock on these handcuffs as we’re talking. I think I’ll be fine, the piranhas are still 5 or 6 feet below me.”

“All right, but isn’t our conversation going to distract you?” I asked. “I know you’re upset, but wouldn’t you rather call back at another time?”

“I’d really like to talk about it, Doc. I always find talking to you clears my mind and makes me more effective. I may need to go if the henchmen come back, though.”

Genres:

EP Flash: Wetting the Bed

Show Notes

Rated G. It’s apocalyptic fantasy — for kids!


Wetting the Bed

By Heather Shaw

When the floods came, all us kids climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over our heads while our parents rushed about trying to do something to stop it. As the water level rose we could feel the beds lift off the floor, floating through our houses, bumping down our hallways and out our front doors.

We sat up in bed waved to one another as our beds merged onto the canal that now flowed between our houses. We shrieked and giggled as our beds spun and bumped along with the swirling water. Waves lapped at our boxsprings, but our covers were still warm and dry.

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