Archive for Podcasts

Escape Pod 21: Platypus Girl

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains violence, profanity, and crimes against chemistry.

Referenced sites:
Mirrormask


Platypus Girl

By Jonathon Sullivan

Rufus didn’t relent. “How come you ain’t got a license, skillet face?”

Shari struggled to keep her own distaste under control. Emotion could screw up the reading, her own pheromones and toxins clogging up the massive olfactory bulb and entorhinal cortex that occupied most of her cranium. She took a deep breath, pulling air through her huge nostrils, trying to calm herself. At least she didn’t have to see the man’s face.

EP Metacast #1


A “state of the podcast” address, in which we talk at some length about subscription counts, finances, our plans to become a 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation, and what to expect from Escape Pod in the near future. If this sort of thing bores you, you can skip it with absolutely no harm to your health, the environment, or our self-esteem. But if you want to know the intimate details of our podcast, then here you go.

Escape Pod 20: The Burning Bush

Show Notes

Rated X. For blasphemy and anatomy. Really.

Referenced sites:
I Should Be Writing
Dag Viggo Lok√∏en


The Burning Bush

By Jennifer Pelland

I did the sensible thing. I screamed and ran to the bathroom, where I started tossing cups of water on my crotch in the hopes of extinguishing the flames. My boyfriend ran in behind me, started the shower up, and tossed me into the freezing water. But the fire continued to rage, despite the dousing.

At that point, I realized that I wasn’t actually in any pain. I stepped out of the stream of water, teeth still chattering, and held my hand in the blue flames. “This should hurt,” I said.

Escape Pod 19: Implications

Show Notes

Rated G. Suitable for macrolevel quantum explicate children of all ages.

Referenced podcasts:
Skepticality
Hooting Yard
Epistaxis Time


Implications

By James C. Bassett

“Yes, obviously. But its judgement is rather lacking, wouldn’t you say? Trying to translocate itself to the Ancestors’ Earth on a whim? For that matter, Instructor, I might also question your own judgement. Imagine, teaching macrolevel effects as an introduction to subquantum nonlocality!”

Arcaprun jumped up and ran to its Instructor’s defence. “Aw, Prundis, you know it wasn’t Grap’s fault. It was just a little accident.”

“_Just_ an accident?” Prundis countered drily. “You neglected to factor in lightspeed lag when making observations to determine coordinates and lost yourself halfway across the universe! It took me three weeks to locate you! I was worried sick, Arc.”

EP Flash: The God of the Goblins


The God of the Goblins

By Eric Marin

The campaign had begun well. The Alarians swept south into goblin territory, and Alarian rifles quickly overmatched goblin bows and crossbows.

In just a few weeks of fighting, the goblin population was halved. The goblin chieftains realized that they were doomed without help and did the only thing they could.

They asked their god, Twenty Claw, for help.

Escape Pod 18: Some Girlfriends Can

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains explicit cattiness and violent self-reflection.


Some Girlfriends Can

By Stephanie Burgis

“Too bad it’s raining. Hey, Lauren, make the rain stop, okay?” He reaches across the table and tousles my hair affectionately.

I bare my teeth in the semblance of a grin. “Ha ha. Sorry, I can’t.”

“I know.” He shakes his head, laughs ruefully. “It’s just . . . Maya could.”

Escape Pod 17: The Life and Times of Penguin

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains explicit existentialism and violence of the soul. (The intro contains minor profanity and frank discussions of current events, and is likely to be more offensive than the story.)


The Life and Times of Penguin

By Eugie Foster

Penguin listened raptly to the new voice. He knew this was his guardian angel, she who would guard and protect him forever. Sure enough, the Creator set him gently into his angel’s hand. Her hands, much smaller than the Creator’s–which was fitting since who among the angels had such power as the Creator?–were a bit sticky. He squealed as she held him aloft to
receive the glorious light.

“Look, Daddy! It’s a peng’n!”

“Yes it is, Angie. It’s a very nice penguin. Did you thank the nice man for the balloon?”

EP Flash: Pennywhistle

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains graphic violence and disturbing images.


Pennywhistle

By Greg van Eekhout

“Piper,” I screamed, fumbling in my purse. Too late. He brought his pipe to his lips and blew a note that almost made my eyeglasses shatter. Over at the sandbox, Nathan rose to his feet. He started moving towards the man. All the children did.

Escape Pod 16: Seamstress

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains sexual situations and, unrelated, the loss of innocence.


Seamstress

By Sarah Prineas

So, the Godmother. She takes ragged, smudged things and turns them into beautiful Princesses. Why, I don’t know. A hobby? A calling? An obsession? Is she righting the wrongs done to her when she was young?

When I first started here, I had a fantasy. That the Godmother would pluck me out of the row of humpbacked, squinting Seamstresses and make me, too, a beautiful Princess. With a gown sewn by…well, by the poor wenches too old or ugly to catch the Godmother’s eye.

Escape Pod 15: Hell Notes

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains graphic food-based sensuality and soulless marketing.


Hell Notes

By M.K. Hobson

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so I suppose it’s no wonder that the twice-cooked pork the beautiful chef placed in that depressing buffet line kicked me in the mouth like a South American soccer superstar with bad aim. There was never twice-cooked pork like the twice-cooked pork I tasted that snowy day at the Cheerful Panda.

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