Archive for Podcasts

Escape Pod 08: Lachrymose and the Golden Egg

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:05 — 17.5MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains slight profanity, drug use, and violence against were-ape ninjas.

Lachrymose and the Golden Egg

By Tim Pratt

“Foul temptress?” I said, stepping back, clanking in my armor. A suit of plate mail often appears when I’m startled. I wished the armor away and replaced it with soft green leggings and a deerskin shirt. “Wily seductress?”

“Damsel in distress.” She leaned against a tree, hands clasped before her.

I clutched my stick and looked around. “Immediate distress, or general distress?” I worried about ogres, or killbots. They often menace damsels, and when the wind’s wrong, you can’t smell them coming, neither rotten meat nor engine oil. It’s hard to hurt an ogre or a killbot with a staff, but I’m useless with a sword. I used a blade on my first few outings, but after chopping off my feet six times, I switched to a stick.

EP Flash: Ubiquitous

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:25 — 1.6MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains violent themes and images.

Ubiquitous

By Douglas Triggs

The clicks and squeals in his head subsided. No one else could understand them except him. No one else could even hear them. But they’d always been there, ever since he could remember. They hadn’t meant anything at first, not until he was older, well into his teenage years. They said terrible things — disturbing things — but still he could ignore them, even if he didn’t dare tell anyone about them.

Escape Pod 07: The Trouble With Death Traps

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 42:00 — 19.3MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains no sexual content or strong language. Does contain whirling blades of death.

The Trouble With Death Traps

By Marjorie James

A razor-sharp blade shot out of the wall and whipped in front of the teen’s face. Xnab hauled him back and spun him around.

“First thing you have to learn in this business: never kick anything. Got that?”

“Yes sir. Sorry sir.”

“Good.”

“Sir?”

“Yes?”

“What’s the second thing?”

EP Flash: Airedale

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:16 — 1.1MB)

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Airedale

By Greg van Eekhout

I never doubted Dolly would place high. Best of Breed at the very least. When it came to official conformation standards, my Airedale bitch made other dogs look like pigs and weasels.

Escape Pod 06: Jenny Nettles

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 21:20 — 9.8MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains violence, supernatural themes, and sailors who do not swear.

Jenny Nettles

By Debra Doyle and James D. Macdonald

On the morning after his death, a clear fluid began to leak from the Jenny’s mainmast: slow, glistening droplets that curled out and ran downward from where the knives were stuck in the wood. “It’s water,” said the ship’s cook. “But not fresh. Salt. Like blood.”

“Not like blood,” said Big Tom, who had also tasted it. His cheeks were sunken, and his eyes were hollow and dark. “Not like blood — like tears.”

EP Flash: Strange Girlfriend

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:12 — 1.5MB)

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Strange Girlfriend

By Scott Janssens

“Would you notice if I was replaced by an alien?” your girlfriend Heather asks over her Greek salad.

You’ve been dating for eight months. Surprises in the relationship are rare now, but this catches you completely off guard. “What?” you say.

Escape Pod Promo

We’ve had a few requests by other podcasters for the Escape Pod promo segment, heard already on great shows such as The Dragon Page and Geek Fu Action Grip. So here it is for the world. If you choose to play it yourself or otherwise pass it on, we’d appreciate a line letting us know where so we can check you out, but it isn’t strictly necessary.

It’s also a complete story in its own right, so hopefully the rest of you will enjoy it as just another flash fiction piece.

(Note: This promo contains a lot of podcasting in-jokes. You may find some of it inscrutable if you don’t listen to other podcasts. Just take our word that it’s funny, okay?)


Download the Escape Pod promo.

Escape Pod 05: Snow Day

Originally appeared in Strange Horizons.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 23:45 — 10.9MB)

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Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, robotic sexual content, and offensive weather.

Snow Day

By Jennifer Pelland

“Innovate, Max. Burrow your way out. I don’t care.”

“A tunnel of snow would be unsafe for you to travel through, as it could collapse at any time.”

“Max–”

“Would you like to have sex?”

Damn him. He vibrates.

EP Flash: Oasis

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:49 — 2.2MB)

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Show Notes

This piece marks the debut of Escape Pod’s flash fiction — very short stories that will be released between our weekly issues on an irregular basis. We chose “Oasis” as our first because, well, it’s about an escape pod. One can even imagine our logo image as the illustration for this story.

Oasis

By Greg van Eekhout

You turn a lever that pops open the cover of the control pad. There’s a big red button labeled OPEN AIRLOCK. You jab it. Then you jab the CONFIRM button. Then you push the handle thing, and it’s all over.

Escape Pod 04: In His Footsteps

Originally appeared in Space and Time Magazine

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 24:30 — 11.2MB)

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Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains sexual innuendo and lighthearted heresy.

In His Footsteps

By Paul E. Martens

The dinner was not what you could call an unqualified success. The best that could be said for it was that we survived. And Uncle Dennis couldn’t even say that much.

That was my fault, too, I guess. I pissed God off, and all of your major religions will tell you that that’s something you want to try and avoid. But I still think of Him as ‘Dad,” and when was the last time you just meekly did what your father told you to do? Okay, sure, your father isn’t God, but mine wasn’t always God, either.

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