Eric Schwitzgebel is a professor of philosophy at University of California, Riverside, and a cooperating member of UCR’s program in Speculative Fiction and Cultures of Science. He is the world’s leading expert on the ethical behavior of professional ethicists (yes, really) and on the dubious application of philosophical theories of consciousness to the case of the common garden snail. His short philosophical fiction has appeared in Clarkesworld, F&SF, Nature, Apex, and The Dark. His most recent book, with MIT Press, is an unholy mix of moral psychology, speculative cosmology, science fiction, philosophy, and memoir, misleadingly titled A Theory of Jerks and Other Philosophical Misadventures.