Genres:

Escape Pod 31: Robots and Falling Hearts

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains slight profanity, long flirtations, and excessive Zen. Watch for falling metaphors.

Referenced sites:
Child’s Play
Hooting Yard


Robots and Falling Hearts

By Tim Pratt and Greg van Eekhout

I paused to tie a loose shoelace and a squat robot, like a dirty white trashcan on tank-treads, trundled out of an alley toward me. A red light on top of its domelike top blinked erratically. It said, in a high-pitched voice, “Klaatu barada nikto.” A small panel slid open in its front, and a pole with a cup on the end telescoped out. There were a few coins in the cup, mostly pennies and nickels, and the robot jingled the cup significantly.

“Take me to your leader,” I said, wishing it could be that simple, knowing that these things are never that simple. The robot beeped at me and jingled its cup harder, the coins rattling.

“It won’t go away unless you give it some change,” said a woman standing on the corner. “It followed me all the way to work one day, and hung around outside the door like a dog for hours.”

Genres:

Escape Pod 30: Aliens Love Oranges

Show Notes

Rated G. Contains mild provinicialism, non-explicit discussion of sexual preferene, and screwdrivers. (The kind with vodka.)

Referenced sites:
Spaceship Radio Script Factory
Rev Up Review
2B Pictures Filmmaking Podcast


Aliens Love Oranges

By Sue Burke

“They do talk wrong,” she whispered. “They say ‘aboot’ instead of ‘about’ and ‘proh-gress’ instead of ‘prah-gress.’ It’s like they can’t almost speak English right.”

“That’s how you tell,” Lois said. “Aliens can’t figure out how to say the letter O. Have y’all ever heard a body talk like that?”

Escape Pod 29: Crystal Balls

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains violence, immoral psychic paraphernalia, and grown women scrying.

Referenced sites:
Rent
The Sci Phi Show
Dead White Guys


Crystal Balls

By Susie Hawes

Yeah, that’s it. Oh, that’s nice. You’ve got strong hands, Mister. Are you psychic? Maybe just a little? No? Well, I can fix that.

Naw, I can’t tell you where to find a bottle of Mad Dog, but I can get you the money to buy one.

EP Collection 1


As I mentioned recently on the podcast, Escape Pod just reached its six-month anniversary. Since May of this year we’ve enjoyed tremendous success, with thousands of listeners worldwide and new fun stories every week. We’re now reported to be the largest source of free audio fiction on the Internet, and of course we’re still growing.

To help us celebrate, Jesse Willis of the SFFAudio.com review site has helped us to design and produce a collectible MP3 CD containing every audio file we’ve podcast in the first six months. These CDs are produced using the LightScribe labeling technology, which burns an image directly to the front side of the disc, allowing us to number and put a customized inscription on each disc. An example of the CD:

We’re offering these CDs as a special reward for anyone who donates $20 or more to Escape Pod between now and January 31, 2006 — or until we’ve made 200 of them, whichever comes first. You can keep it for yourself, to catch up on our archives, or inscribe it as a gift for somebody else and have it sent to them.

(UPDATE: We’ve changed our policy on this. There’s no time limit now; we’ll keep going until we send out all 200. As of the beginning of March, we’ve sent out 75 of them — but we’re still getting orders, so don’t wait too long!)

Want one? All you have to do is include the following information in the comments field of your donation:

  • The name of the recipient (yourself or anyone else)
  • The address of the recipient
  • Any personal message you’d like inscribed on the edge of the CD, up to about 60 characters or so. (There’s no absolute limit, but the longer the text the more we’ll have to shrink the font.)

It’s worth noting that, in accordance with Escape Pod’s values, the *contents* of the CD are all Creative Commons-licensed and can be freely copied for all your friends. However, the front of the disc is absolutely unique, and cannot be easily duplicated. I’d like to think that someday these CDs will have collectible value, just as old science fiction magazines have value today.

Thanks to all of you for your support!

Escape Pod 28: Your Corporate Network and the Forces of Darkness

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, dark magic, and other typical sysadmin behavior.

Referenced sites:
Plot Patents
Slashdot Commentary
Look What I Found In My Brain!
SFFAudio


Your Corporate Network and the Forces of Darkness

By Lucy A. Snyder

Axedame agrees that the technology provides staffing solutions that have yet to reach public acceptance or full legality. “Undead workers are kind of a gray area as far as the feds are concerned. And you bet your boots the unions are fighting it. But since you don’t have to pay the dead minimum wage, the potential impact this could have on America’s bottom line is off the charts! We’re pretty sure we can get the government on board as long as the GOP stays in charge.”

EP Poem: Making Monsters

Show Notes

Rated PG. May provoke disturbing thoughts.


Making Monsters

A Poem by Tim Pratt

He is the reason clowns so often seem
sinister, the reason mannequins and dolls
can be so unsettling, the reason a child’s
tricycle
sitting unattended in a front yard can be an image
suffused with dread. If he goes on
this way, who knows what other objects
will attain an aura of menace?

Escape Pod 27: Union Dues: Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains graphic scenes of class conflict and superhuman self-doubt.

Referenced sites:
HorrorView
Beyond the Storm: Shadows of the Big Easy
SFFAudio


Union Dues: Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw

By Jeffrey R. DeRego

“You super folks must think we’re pretty damn foolish, especially us in the law enforcement community.”

Look at him leaning back with his feet up on the desk. Did he just walk out of Cool Hand Luke? Sheesh, you’d think a sheriff would want to be more dignified. “No sir. You and your brethren are integral to the fabric of society. We of The Union are grateful for your hard work and courage.” I can rattle that sort of crap off all day long.

EP Interview: Greg van Eekhout


Interviewed by Scott Janssens.

Greg van Eekhout, one of Escape Pod’s most frequent authors, speaks to us about the virtues of very short fiction, babies in blenders, and an explosive new term for flash fiction.

Greg’s site:
writingandsnacks.blogspot.com

Escape Pod 26: The Ludes

Show Notes

Rated R. Contains drug use, some profanity, and codependent creatures of darkness.

Referenced sites:
The Sci-Fi Podcast Network
Geek Fu Action Grip
I Should Be Writing
The Secrets
Slice of Sci-Fi
Skepticality
Alien Ethos
The Signal
Earthcore
Ancestor
Morevi


The Ludes

By Lisa M. Bradley

That might seem funny to those who’ve ever bothered to attend these performances, to say that someone didn’t belong. The audience is always a motley sort–faculty and spouses, local musicians and artists, music students and jocks who have to attend so many of these things to get credit for required courses, waitresses and office workers desperate for some culture, their school-age children (alternately awed and bored to tears), homeless folks who need a warm place to sleep for a couple of hours, mentally and physically handicapped folks hauled out as someone’s idea of a good deed, and, of course, recreational drug users with nothing better to do.

Still, he didn’t belong. He was Gothic. Not like those kids who hang out at Hot Topic and think wearing black nail polish expresses their inner turmoil, their eternal angst. I’d seen Goths there before and he wasn’t Goth, he was Gothic–dark and looming, faintly chivalrous in manner, seemingly possessed of a great, tragic secret. I thought of Bronte’s Heathcliff.

EP Flash: Mount Dragon

Show Notes

Rated PG. Contains some profanity. Paradigms may shift without warning.


Mount Dragon

By Vera Nazarian

“Go to hell, idiot,” I said, using an astringent tongue he’d understand. “I am but a monumental slab of granite, and you, mortality, are like one of the droppings of a fairly large corpulent deity–an ephemeral honor I would rather pass me by.”

“And yet, you speak to me, mountain,” said the mote of humanity. “Why is that?”

I considered that for a moment. The creature had a point.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.