Genres: Aliens
Rated R. Contains sexual imagery and themes, and lots of caffeine.
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“You call it crazy,” Aimee said. “I call it Evolution.”
With a capital E. The famous newsclip seen around the world. The aliens arrived neither as an invading force nor as beneficent galactic pals. By their own description they were ‘Harbingers.’
Famous network interviewer: “Harbingers of what?”
Alien: “Evolution.”
Rated R. Contains partial nudity, some language, petty crime, and a few gods’ names taken in vain.
The doors whooshed open and the Goddess Kali strode up to the counter. She stopped in front of him, grinning wickedly. Straight platinum-blonde hair spilled down over her shoulders and high bare breasts, contrasting with her inky black skin. Jeremy noticed a necklace of tiny, perfectly-formed ceramic skulls hung around her neck.
“Hi, Jeremy.”
“‘Lo, Suzy.”
The Goddess Kali’s eyes flashed red with anger. “Don’t call me that!” Behind her, a whole pantheon wandered the aisles, looking for late-night snacks.
Rated R. Contains sexual themes, third-world exploitation, and awkward freshmen.
Referenced sites:
Foster on Film (Pre-screening giveaway)
Other dragons cavorted on the airy currents. Those dragons were cherry red or lime green or creamy brown. Their riders steered them up the beach, or inland toward the mall, or back to campus.
A slender girl on a pink dragon passed us going the opposite way, her blond hair billowing. Matt waved to her. He said over his shoulder, “I met that girl last night. Hold on, I want to say hi.” He yanked the reins and we banked sharply. My stomach lurched. We swept around in an arc and came up alongside the girl. Her dragon had the guileless beady eyes and scrunched up cheeks of a lap dog. Matt said, “Hi. Dora, right?”
“Deirdre,” she corrected. “And you’re … Matt?” He grinned, and she said, “I like your dragon.”
Rated R. Contains profanity and a disturbing resemblance to Philip K. Dick.
Referenced sites:
Eley’s writing progress
New forums (finally!)
I launched into my next bit, which I’d rehearsed that morning on the tram. “What I liked about your stories is that you never knew where they were going. It’d start off as a World War II military adventure, but then it would wind up being about android worms from another dimension out to steal Earth’s dirt. It’s like other writers’ stories are bridges: There’s a beginning, there’s an end, and it’s a pretty straight shot through. It might be a long bridge, or curvy, maybe, so you can’t quite see the ending coming. But the trip basically makes sense. Your stories were different, though. You always blew up your bridges halfway across, and you’d have to swim for the banks, and you’d end up on some rock with weird lizards.”
On the verge of laughter, he looked at me. “You’re kidding, right?”
Rated R. Contains drugs, swinging, and frequent gratuitous apocalypses.
Referenced sites:
Podiobooks.com
Starship Sofa (incl.: Robert Silverberg)
Mike offered Nick some pot. “That’s really something,” he said. “To have gone to the end of the world. Hey, Ruby, maybe we’ll talk to the travel agent about it.”
Nick took a deep drag and passed the joint to Jane. He felt pleased with himself about the way he had told the story. They had all been very impressed. That swollen red sun, that scuttling crab. The trip had cost more than a month in Japan, but it had been a good investment. He and Jane were the first in the neighborhood who had gone. That was important.
Genres: Holiday Special
Rated R. Contains profanity, violence, and the puncturing of childhood myths. Merry Christmas!
Referenced sites:
Reading is Fundamental
Child’s Play
I Should Be Writing
Geek Fu Action Grip
Podsafe Music Network (Terms of Use)
Musical guest: Twisted Sister.
“Look, I think I know where this is going,” Kris Kringle said, but Gingermuffin cut him off.
“Do you? The Heartbreakers have been making Tom Petty sound good for years, and no one gives a damn. Tom Petty gets all of the credit.”
Kris wondered if he was sober enough to have this discussion. “You’re not talking about Tom Petty.”
Gingermuffin slammed his hand down on the table. “Damn right I’m not!” Kris’s carefully stacked poker chips fell over in a clatter of Christmas.
Rated R. For profanity and somewhat wooden anatomical descriptions.
Today’s Sponsor:
Roger sighed, shifted his position on the stump, and then turned back away from Marcus.
“What I’m trying to do, Marcus, is talk that tree into moving.”
Marcus didn’t say anything. He stood behind someone he thought he once knew and tried to figure what to say next. Not a man normally tied for words, Marcus found himself in the very surreal position of being speechless.
Rated R. Contains profanity, some violence involving children, and retail corporate exploitation.
Union Dues Stories:
EP027: Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw
EP049: Off White Lies
EP062: The Baby and the Bathwater
“Which one are you?”
The kid fans out a small stack of super hero trading cards, but it’s not a Union deck. Figures. “Lemme see what you got there.” I flip through and remember my old baseball card collection. I knew there was something special about me, when at nine-years-old, I accurately calculated the probable batting stats of each player, on every team, in the 1996 season after opening only one pack. The Union recruited me five years later after my dad beat a couple of Atlantic City casinos for ten million bucks. I was caught on security camera tape telling him when and how to bet at the roulette wheel.
“These don’t look like you.”
The card displays a blue-costumed man leaping between buildings. I hand it back to him. “Those guys aren’t real, but I am.” Wow. Did I just say that? Maybe I’ll tell the kid that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren’t real either. He’s staring at me now, I can almost see his little brain struggling to make sense of my answer. I should tell him to buy Union Cards but, you know, he’s five.
Rated R. Contains sexual violence, Satanic summonings, and similar wholesome family bonding.
There was a group of them at college who were into Satanism. My mom, Betty Bloxham as she was then, was one of them. It all sounds a bit kinky, going into the woods at dead of night and dancing in the nude under the full moon.
Anyway, they were all high on drugs at the time, so I doubt they knew what they were doing.
Rated R. Contains explicit sexual content. And ghosts. Explicit sexual ghosts, really.
Referenced Sites:
Retrieval Detachment
“I suppose you think we turn into cats and foxes when your back is turned?”
I smiled. “Only some of you – you, for example. You’re much too beautiful to be human, but you could be a cat, a flower, a tree – no, scratch that one, you’re too short.” I glanced at Hiroshi. “Maybe Shimako’s the tree-spirit,” I said, softly. Hiroshi ignored me, but Miyume covered her mouth and laughed.
“I assure you, I’m quite human,” she said. “I don’t doubt that Shimako is, too. And how many girls have you used that line on, before?”