Posts Tagged ‘Kurt Pankau’

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Escape Pod 641: Flash Fiction Contest Winners

Escape Pod 641: Flash Fiction Contest Winners is an Escape Pod original.

One top-level curse.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 23:28 — 36.5MB)

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The Toastmaster

By Kurt Pankau

“Burnt the Pop Tarts again?”

“Yes,” Toaster responded over wifi. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Blender whirred with sympathy.

“Owner was upset,” said Toaster. “She picked me up and looked at my underside to make sure everything was okay.”

“That’s odd,” said Blender. “There’s nothing there but your crumb tray, though.”

“I know, and so does Owner. I don’t know why she did it. It was humiliating.” (Continue Reading…)

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Escape Pod 597: Ms. Figgle-DeBitt‘s Home for Wayward A.I.s

Escape Pod 597: Ms. Figgle-DeBitt‘s Home for Wayward A.I.s is an Escape Pod original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 35:43 — 49.1MB)

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Ms. Figgle-DeBitt’s Home for Wayward A.I.s

By Kurt Pankau

I watch with hope as Ms. Figgle-DeBitt samples a slice of caramelized banana upside-down cake. She takes a nibble and seems pleased. She sweeps cybernetic fingers through the shock of gray hair that sits on the human half of her face, a gesture I’ve learned is contemplative. She takes a larger bite, chews, and grimaces. She spits it out into a trash can.

I’m not upset by this. I do not get upset. I get better.

“This is definitely an improvement, Charlie,” she says. “If I may make a recommendation? Next time, peel the bananas first.”

“Of course, Ms. Figgle-DeBitt,” I say. Another foolish mistake.

“This recipe is important to you, isn’t it?” she asks. “You’ve tried to make it three times this week.”

“It’s the recipe that ended my career,” I say.

(Continue Reading…)

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